Storm Front (bonus points, if you get the reference)

So, I never was much of a boy-scout. Suffice to say, your neighborhood wanna-be Wiz is going through a rough time in his personal life. An excuse for not blogging? Yep, sure is. So, sue me. :)

This post was to be about my "take" on magic(k) (To K, or not to K). That post will happen. However, for the purposes of keeping my blog alive, I'm turning it temporarily over to my audience. What is magic to you? Do you believe in it? If so, why/why not?

Go ahead and feel free to expound in the way of comments. As soon as my ass is no longer substituting for my hat, I will join in & maybe even post (insert gasps and ooOOoohs here)

Tumbleweeds

My apologies for the significant dry spell between my first post and this one. It's been an odd time for me and I lost some focus along the way. The next post, alluded to in the first post, will be up soon... Scout's honor.

Get to know your Wanna-be Wizard... I'm sorry, what?

Yes, you read right... I am a wanna-be Wizard. I have been (to varying degrees) for as long as I can remember. When I was a child, I was mystified and drawn to various tales of fantasy and the icons therein; King Arthur, Knights, Dragons, etc... None of these icons, however, captured my interest and imagination like the Wizard. The qualities the Wizard archetype posses calls to me... always has.

When I was younger, being a wanna-be Wizard meant running around my back yard, wearing a sheet-turned-cape, pointing a stick (or a finger) at imaginary monsters and pew-pewing my way to greatness. As you can imagine, this made my Christian family oh-so happy. This, fun as it was (and it was a lot of fun), felt incomplete. It wasn't the lack of fire or lightning spewing forth from my finger, or my seeming inability to; fly, change-shape, or cast a world changing spell (though, as a kid, thats pretty damn disappointing). Try as I may, and I truthfully didn't try that hard, I couldn't get a grasp on the missing puzzle piece. I felt the same void within the Christian religion and as childhood gave way to my pre-teens Wizardly dreams and Christianity gave way to the pragmatism of everyday life.

In my teens, having relegated the concept of being a Wizard (wanna-be or otherwise) to the mental shelf of subconscious, childhood musings, I was possessed of a strong desire to acquire knowledge. I wanted to know how things worked. I wanted to experience art in its various mediums. I wanted to know, most of all, what made me "tick". Sorry, Public School System, but most of what I learned was on my own. My days consisted of; going to school and daydreaming, doing homework half-heartedly, and then before bed studying topics of interest on my own. The only class I had an interest for in high-school was Theater, which I have a passion for to this day. I was involved with a couple of "occult" groups at this time, no doubt due to that wanna-be Wizard voice whispering in my ear. Those groups, though certainly more interesting than religions in general, also left me wanting more. I found out early on that I have an aversion to people or groups that claim to "have the answers".

Then, there was college. For the first time in my life, I was legitimately drawn to my classes. I majored in Psychology, with a minor in anthropology. As a bit of providence, I took - via gut feeling - a Philosophy course called "Scientific Reasoning". This combination led to an ignition of interest in all things spiritual. I studied spiritual traditions from main-stream religions, to the occult, to tribal practices. I utilized the aforementioned classes as a sort of "ground", to keep me from spiraling into the "That dog-fart is an omen!" mentality I call hu-ju-itus. I know now that I was desperately trying to find a sense of identity in all of this, and the wanna-be Wizard on the shelf cracked open an eye to see if it was time to wake up yet... Nope, not yet.

Here comes a period I call my "phase". I met a woman in college and was married soon after. I fell into the trap so many fall into of being to concerned with being alone, than with being with the right person. In settling for the wrong person for me, I started to stray away from the real me... In a big way. If I said that there was something missing from religion and my "fantasy magic" before, there was everything missing from it then. I had willingly thrown away the best parts of myself for the sake of companionship... any companionship. Thankfully, I wised up and began the upward climb of relearning who I am. These days, I look on my "phase" as a learning experience, and I wouldn't change a thing. I don't think I would know myself as well as I do, had it not been necessary to get re-acquainted with my estranged self. After the end of the marriage, I restarted my spiritual journey, which has led me to greater self-discovery, a happy and healthy marriage, and the stirrings of something I thought to be lost. The Wizard on the shelf looked up again and smiled slightly... Time to wake up.

I have always held the idea of making your own happiness, whatever that may be regardless of what society might think in very high regard. I must admit, at first I thought I was being coo-coo-nuts for entertaining the idea. I mean, this was the domain held for new-age crack-pots and charlatan hucksters... right? Yet, I could not seem to let it go. So, I began to think about what being a Wizard really means and I sought to create a list of qualities. They would have to be qualities that I whole-heartedly agreed with, or the deal was off. I pooled from many different fictional, historical and mythological sources. I derived a list of qualities/beliefs which I believe boils down the Wizard archetype to its core salts, as it were.

A Wizard is/believes:

1. Believes magic(k) is real - this will be further explored in my next post To "K", or not to "K"...

2. Is constantly on a quest to better know him/herself.

3. Believes the destination to the Quest for Knowledge lies not with the knowing, but rather with the discovery of bigger and more profound questions.

4. Believes life and wisdom can be found in all things.

5. Is one who is eager to teach and serve his community in whatever capacity he/she is capable.

6. Believes in the merits of leading without force and teaching without pride.

7. Is one who realizes what an opportunity an "I don't know" moment is.

8. Believes in compassion for all beings, and knows when to be a healer and when to be a witness.

9. Is one possessed of an inexhaustible and often times odd sense of humor

10. Believes in having a clear mind, when all about is chaos.

11. Is one who understands that reality cannot be as it appears.

Coming to the qualities, I could no longer escape it. This is how I see myself. Yet, do I call myself a Wizard? Well, that's where the wanna-be comes in. A: I think it's arrogant of me to make such a claim at this time, if ever, and B: I am more interested in the journey than the destination.

You won't find me wearing a pointy hat in the grocery store (though I do have one), or (heaven forbid) waving my wand in your face. This is a philosophy for me and the name I choose to give it. I am a wanna-be Wizard. Now if you will excuse me, I need to step outside with my bed-sheet and do some pew-pewing :P